Fine and Dandy

I had to leave work early today to go to the Dentist. I'm looking pretty good...they polished the old teeth and then gave me "the talk". You know the one. "Floss more and when are you going to have your wisdom teeth pulled?"

You know she hits me with the Wisdom teeth one every time I go in. At least this time I had a really good excuse for not going in and getting it done.

"I'm sorry doc. I had another surgery done instead. And I owe about $800 on it from what the insurance didn't cover so I'll be paying on that for awhile so Wisdom teeth are going to have to wait." I smile really big.

Doc says, "Oh really?" Knowing my excuses are endless I'm sure. "What other surgery did you have done?"

Me: "I had a laparoscopic tubal ligation." Blink. Blink.

Doc: "Oh. And how was your recovery?"

Must we relive that? I think I started itching at the memory of it. Anyways the dentist told me that I was "Gutsy" for having that surgery done. (Sigh) Gutsy huh? I should start keeping notes of all the odd things people say to me.

Anyways I left the dentist with a sack of goodies I have no intention of using except for the new toothbrush. (I hate to floss. It's a texture thing for me-I do not like the floss going in between my teeth, totally weirds me out.---more so then the usual.)

So then I came home to my house being so WARM! OMG! It hasn't felt that cozy in there in AGES! I turned the heat up higher and then went and stood on a vent. The air that came out was really warm and I swear that it must have been broken since last year or the year before because it hasn't blown warm air like that in forever. I was so delighted. I pranced around the house and then grabbed my work out clothes and jumped on the dreadmill. I jogged/ran for thirty minutes. I have found that when I do this routine with music blaring in the room, I have more energy--and I can shake my booty--I enjoy the work out better.

Afterwards I made me a little dinner. Salad, sauteed pork loin, and left over acorn squash. And here I am. Watching Gauge chase an empty water bottle around the house is priceless!

Tonight I'm just happy to be Warm and A Live. Thank you!

I did not freeze last night:

And I have my father to thank for that.

He was going to try and fix it himself but after further discussion this morning we concluded that we better leave it up to the experts and call a repairman. I called a repairman that my Godparents suggested; did a little name dropping-hey I'm not above that. And the guy says he can get out to me today!
My father said he would pay for it as my Christmas gift. (Insert giant sigh of relief here)

I am so happy about it.

But I'm a little disappointed in boyfriend.

Shouldn't He be taking care of this stuff? Shouldn't he be coming to my rescue? It just solidifies the fact that I don't come first. And in a way it kind of hurts just a tad. I mean I shouldn't let it...I know where we are...but I guess I need to decide what I really want. If I do decide to travel around the world and work-he is okay with me doing so-would a solid relationship boyfriend be okay with that?

I guess the only thing I can count on in my life is my family.

Life just taught me a lesson: when it's winter and the furnace may be on the fritz don't wait for it to break before you do something about it.

So yeah it's in the teens brrr freaking cold and I come home to no heat. The furnace has died. It's blowing cold air. It's electric air forced heat...I have no fireplace so I have no heat. This equals one GIANT Heather MELT DOWN.
First the denial.
Then the panic.
Then the survival instincts kick in.
I call my version of 911=DAD.

I rattle off this array of noise in his ear and then say, "This is what I want for Christmas please fix my furnace or pay for the repair. I can't afford it dad I just can't do it. I can't handle this right now."

Dad tells me to get my sorry behind over to his house and come have dinner he'll give me space heaters to get threw the night. I'm still on the verge of a throw myself on the ground fit. Why?

Because this shit happens to me every fucking Christmas! Something always needs to be fixed or repaired in December, from brakes on the car, tires for the car, repair for the hot water tank, SOMETHING! Every year! And I'm always having to go to my dad to bail me out. I'm so tired of it! When I was married it wasn't this way but since I've been on my own...it's like clock work. My 30th birthday present and Christmas present last year from my dad was two new tires for my car....that I had to trade in four months later!

So tonight I am grateful for my daddy. That he is going to help me tomorrow while I source out the part from work, he is going to try and fix it. If that doesn't work I don't know what we'll do next. I'm grateful that he has bailed me out on so many occasions I couldn't count them on both hands. And I'm grateful between him and my grandparents I was able to bring home three heaters to stay warm with for the night. Because it's cold outside.

And I have totally learned my lesson...when the heater acts up...you don't wait...you move on that shit.

Winter is here

Remember this? Decemeber LAST year...all the snow Western Washington had. I worked nine days the whole month of December. We had a white Christmas and I had three feet of snow at my house by the time it was all said and done.

It is freezing cold up here. I'm hoping we have a nice mild winter, however it's staying cold and there was a dusting of snow down south of me last night. Later in the week the weather man says we could get snow. I am NOT happy.

Today I decided to go to the local Walmart to stock up on some food because I didn't want to get caught like last year; snowed in-no food and my only choice for grocery stores is the most expensive grocery store in town. So I headed up to the store with my list in my cold little hands and off I went. My cart was piled high-but I wasn't worried. It was all needed. But then the cashier gave me the total and I couldn't believe how much I spent. $300! I haven't done that in forever!! Probably since I've been married or doing a boat trip shopping trip. But for me! Holy cow! The kid in line behind me turned to his mom and said, "$300! Wow that's a lot!" I was thinking to myself, "You're telling me kid."

But at least I won't starve if I get snowed in.

For Maria: My Cousin...I just know IT!

So the other day I made a remark that Maria and I could possibly be cousins because she is British and might have some Russian in her and I'm a quarter Russian and I have some British in me. To me it was pretty funny because sometimes I can pick up an English accent like nobody's business and pretty soon I'm speaking like I should be setting up for tea. I don't feel like I'm close to my Russian roots at all, unless you want to say something about me being stubborn or willing to stand up for myself.

Then I happen to visit Maria's blog and she commented that we both have those "Russian Cheeks" going on. Hmmm...

Well the more I look at us...holy cow...we sure do! Take a peek for yourselves.

Maria...sorry for snagging this from your blog. But your smile is great in this picture and it's the only close up you got!

Look at those cheeks! I'd say there are some similiarities there wouldn't you? And that peace sign is just for you Maria, I'm "throwing it up" just for you.








Also it's freaking cold here...and it's about to get colder. It's afternoon time and the frost from last night is still on the ground. For anyone that has the chance to go to a warmer climate, pack your bags and get the hell out of dodge! It's about to get colder. This means you...Ms. Perkins.

2:45 AM Seattle: Can't sleep and thinking about Shoes

Good morning! Whose up for breakfast?

No one in the house can sleep tonight. All except for Gauge who is currently zonked out at the foot of the bed snoring. You can't keep a bulldog from sleeping...it's just impossible.


Boyfriend decided to stay the night and we went to bed early at 10. But I woke up a little bit ago to find him on the couch trying to sleep. And he's super cranky at the fact that he can't go back to sleep. See Boyfriend has a sleep disorder but won't get help for it. He has trouble shutting his over active mind off at night. Then being the doting woman I get stressed because he's stressed. So now I can't sleep. So let's everybody wake up!


So I want to take a minute and pimp out a website/shop-a-holics dream. http://www.shoedazzle.com/


Is a website that is your own personal shoe shopper! For $39.95 per month you can have your own Shoe Stylist pick out selections for you, select the shoe you want and have it delivered right to your door in a matter of days. If you don't like the selections merely ask for new ones. I tried it out last month and I had to send my first pair back because I needed a size up but this is what I got. The Red pumps last month and the Grey wedge for this month! Can't wait to wear them!

I was a little skeptical at first to try the website. But I checked the reviews and I could not find anything negative. So far everyone has had very good things to say. And you are getting good shoes...not cheap quality. So I say, why not? Give it a try. One thing about accessories ladies...on those days, you're feeling out of sorts or feeling fat...your shoes or your hand bag always fit! Yeah? You feel me right?

Well now I think I'm going to try and go back to sleep. I have a ton of stuff to do today. So I really do need my beauty sleep. Night!

Yada-Yada Friday

Friday's at work are SLOW. So if I have a big project I generally like to save it for Friday so I can keep busy and make the day go by faster. This week's big project was setting up 2010 files for my boss. It went a little easier this year because I was more familiar with the payables and had 2009's labels already on my computer and just had to change the date to 2010. Let me tell you though, my eye's are crossing and I'm not finished yet. 7 hours of this stuff and I'm over it. We had catered Mexican food for lunch today and it was yummy.

As I was staring at my desk thinking the day would never end my cell rang & it was boyfriend calling-he just wanted to tell me "I love you." That was it. Talk about some serious brownie points.

Then my co-worker and I decided to do our afternoon walk around the block. We got half way and it started hailing on us! I swear the temperature dropped in ten minutes. I'm trying so hard to get back on my old schedule. It feels like I will never make the progress. I don't know how I was loosing the weight so easy in the summer, but it's not coming off as easy this time. Last night I was even on the dreadmill.

Yoga class starts the first week of January and I'm going to sign up. It is going to be on Tuesday nights from 7-8pm and will go for 8 weeks. I can't wait to start going again.

Next weekend is my dad's 62nd birthday. I can't wait to give him his digital camera! He is going to be totally shocked!

So I know this post is just me rambling away...sorry...I really didn't know what to write about today. Hence I'm dubbing today Yada Yada Friday. TGIF ya'll.

Cheaters: It's the subject of the Day.

Everyone is talking about T-Woods, the new media hound Cheater of the Week. But if you really stop and think about it, there is probably some guy or woman out there this very second cheating on their significant other.


Sickening isn't it?


It happened to me. I only know of the one time. The affair that lasted at least a year. It truly left me completely fucked up.


But there was more too it then that. My husband lived a complete double life. When his skeletons tumbled out of his closet, it left me feeling empty and not knowing who I was...my life for ten years felt like a complete lie.

I wish I could tell you all everything but I can't. Some stuff is better kept unsaid.

However, I will say that with the lies of his past times, the cheating just about drove me over the edge. This man slept in my bed beside me every night. How could he do that? How could he look across from me at the dinner table? How could he look me in the eyes and tell me that he loved me?


I wanted to know for the longest time: 'Why do men cheat?'

I looked for answers. Everywhere. Books. Websites. Magazines. My therapist.
Could I find the reason why my husband cheated?
.......
................
........................
No.

I mean there were the answers of he was a narcissist. Wanted his cake and eat it too. Blah Blah Blah. But what drove him to the cheating?

He himself couldn't tell me. "It just sort of happened."

Excuse me? Your dick just fell out of your pants and found it's way into that skank's va jay jay?
It just happened.

No there was a lot more to it then that.

I always told him. You ever cheat on me you get no second chances.

So why risk it? Was it the element of the risk the exciting part?

My hairdresser put it nicely for me. She said "You remember those old mob movies? When the mobster would be so in love with his wife. But he had his whore on the side that he wanted to do all the nasty sex with? But he could never do those things with his wife, because that was his Wife."
In all the time I was married I was spoiled. I had anything and everything I ever wanted. I didn't have to work for four years of our marriage. So I did everything for him. Took care of the home, his dry cleaning, took his car in to be repaired, took care of all the yard work, and had dinner on the table when he came home from work. I loved him so much. And yet it wasn't enough. I was the Wife. The one on the pedestal. The one he cherished. So perhaps it was just a nasty sex thing for him? I don't know-he was addicted to porn. When I wanted to spice things up, he never seemed willing to "go there" with me. And it just left me so confused, like I didn't know who he was in the bedroom. Apparently my suspicions were right.

When I went to divorce him, he wouldn't let me go. But it seemed to me he didn't want to let Her go either. So what the fuck?

I will never know why he did what he did. I no longer care. I have a permanent restraining order on him that he will have for the rest of his life. That he earned. We will never talk again. I hope he is sorry for the wrongs he caused me. But something tells me he is only sorry he got caught.

You know that old saying, "Cheaters never prosper?" Well in his case it sure didn't pay to cheat. So I guess my question is: Does it ever? I mean all it really accomplishes is pain-and one giant headache.

I mean, I've read on some site, "Well she nagged me too much, asked me to take out the trash." Really? This is your excuse?

I guess this subject is open ended...meaning it will never end. I know I could go on and on about it but I won't. I feel terrible for any woman or man that has ever been cheated on. It is not right. Once the trust is gone-it's gone and you're never going to get it back. And once you have no trust-you have no relationship. The core of the relationship which is trust falls in on itself. Done. Over.

My father still says to this day, (as of last night too) "I tried to warn you." But I say, "Hey if I didn't go through all this heartache and trouble then I wouldn't be the strong person I am today."
Five or six years ago I wouldn't be caught dead going to a movie or a restaurant by myself. Now I do so with ease. I'm okay in my own skin. I'm okay with me. I'm okay being independent. Not many women can say that.

SO in some sick way...I guess I should thank the bastard. Forgiveness-not now or ever.

So Good job Mr. Woods, you've joined the ranks of many men who are so sorry---but I think you're only sorry you got caught.

Blogger hates me.

My post from last night didn't show up in the blog reel. Why are you picking on me Blogger?
In other news...someone pointed out my crappy spelling that I left in a comment...

NEWS FLASH PEOPLE: I SUCK AT SPELLING AND MATH!

THERE I SAID IT! Now it's out there in the open for everyone.

But there are a million other things I'm better at...so bite me.....hard.

Exhaustion I'm going to kick your @ss!

Tomorrow, (ahem-Wednesday) I am going to start taking these exhaustion ass kickers. Better known as "Vitamins" . I even spoke with the pharmacist and told her that I was just tired all of the time and she told me I need some iron and some B and I said why not throw in some D cause I live in a cave most of the day.

I felt empowered as I left the store. I am in control again! I'm going to get a handle on my life cause it's starting to spin down the road to "You-aint-doing-shitsville". And I've been there done that got the post card and the souvenir shot glass.

Today I even went on a walk at work. It is suppose to be sunny & freaking ice cold all week. So I'm going to go for walks after lunch if I can. I'm also going to attempt to get up early to get on the dreadmill.

Hey you are only in control of yourself. No one else is going to change your life, your body, your job, your relationship, or any other damn thing for you. So time for me to get off my couch, bed and any other comfortable warm surface; and just get on with it!

(Fingers crossed that said Will Power that just came back from the trip from Margarita ville is going to stick around & that this entire post isn't a one night bullshit story Only Time Will Tell)

I'm going to blast this song when I get my first paying Yacht Job: I'm on a Boat!

Happy December First

And so "it" begins....

Staind-Outside: A song I haven't heard in a long time

I wear Red when I'm feeling Blue

Last night I had the strangest dream. It was with my life long friend whose wedding I was in and we were starring in a commercial together and Bette Midler was there...but not fat Bette, it was skinny Bette. Anyways my friend and I were so excited to be getting our hair and make up done and we couldn't wait to get in front of the camera!

And then....I woke up.

Wouldn't life be grand if it rolled like a romantic comedy? I came home to eat in front of the TV and watched a few minutes of one of my favorite movies "You've Got Mail". You know, with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. I love that movie. The ending is just so perfect. Unlike my fucked up life.

So I ate and decided I'm done with that business and here I am. In bed. at 6:30 blogging to you all and getting ready to put my nose in a book. Seriously WTF is wrong with me?

I have a dentist appointment next week and the week after that I go to the eye doctor. I've needed to go to the eye doctor for the last 8 years. I need new glasses. Also I'm trying to plan a dinner date with a friend and then a double date with some other friends. See I'm trying! But meanwhile I just don't know what to do with myself. I wondered if it had to do with my job, it could. Things are crazy and stressful in that department.

I wondered if it could do with the holidays and missing my mom. It could but it has been nearly 13 years it's getting a little easier to cope. Honestly I don't care what it is. I just want to wake up and not feel like this any more. (I like instant results!)

Sigh

You like my red jacket? I love it. The button detail on the back is super cute and ladies you know what I mean when I say I love how it shows off my figure. I picked it up when I was at the Nordstrom half yearly sale. I love a good jacket that you can dress up or down.

Anyways I'm going to Google some stuff about perking up. Cause enough is enough already. You would think that I really had something to whine about--but I really don't. Things truly are okay. I just don't know why I feel like I can't do anything but stay in bed. (Don't anyone mention my birthday coming up-cause that's not it either...I hope)

Okay night all.

Monday Rant Day

is trying to be the "voice of reason" for a friend. For I don't want to see that person hurt anymore.

However I'm starting to feel like I should just bang my head against the wall. Because you can't lead a horse to water and expect it to drink.

But when you've made the SAME mistakes as this person and lived the life for ten years of heartache and pain...it kills me to see someone so filled with life make the same mistakes and have their life just get sucked out of them because of this "pain".

What can I do?

It makes me sad. I know it's their life. But no one should have to go through such pain and heartache. Yet I guess at some point we have too...and guess when we do the only thing we can hope for is that we learn from it, grow and be stronger for it.

I hope this person finds their way...I'm rooting for them all the way. And I know I'm sometimes giving tough love. But I can't fluff the words that make sense. This is an important time in your life...it will either make you or break you. Don't let it break you...Stand up. Don't take anymore crap.

There is no wrath like the wrath of a woman scorned.

Knock Knock? Whose there? Me. Me Who? Exactly.

I don't know if it's the weather...the time of year...or if it's just me being me.

But I'm seriously headed down a familiar road again that I do not wish to travel on. I really do not know what happened with my energy, my ambition and my motivation. It all has packed it's bags and taken a serious vacation (without me).

All I want to do is sleep. Read and sleep. You can forget doing anything else around this house. I could care less right now. And that my friends has been my attitude for over a month now. Sure I do the chores, but I do them with clenched teeth.

What is happening to me that is making me feel this way? I know I should be doing things like working out and cleaning out my closets and blah di blah. But I have such an "eh it will be there tomorrow" attitude that it just frustrates me.

SO-I need help. What do I need to jump start me? I really have no idea. But here I am. 4:30 on a Sunday-and I'm in bed reading letting the day just pass me by. I'm so in a funk.

My Thanksgiving in a nut shell-Apple Sausage Stuffing recipe included!

Lucky for me I got off work Wednesday early at 2pm. So I high tailed it home to start making some food early. I baked the pie first. (Don't get all excited, it came from a box this year!) But as the pie baked I started prepping the ingrediants for the Apple Sausage Stuffing recipe you can view it here . I do believe all the work was worth it because my guests really did enjoy it. I however am not a big sausage fan so I was like, "eh, its okay".

Here are all the ingrediants. Bread, Onions, Celery, Apple, Garlic, Sage, Parsley, Bay Leaves, 3 Eggs, and the sausage.

First you cook the sausage. Yum yum.  For about 8 minutes or until cooked through. Then remove with a slotted spoon to another dish.

In the same pan add next 7 ingrediants. The recipe says 6, but who ever wrote it obviously can't count like I can't spell.

Remove the Bay leaf and add the mixture to the pig sausage stir.

Then add in the bread, eggs and milk. Stir, stir, stir, stir and stir. Hint. You're going to need a REALLY big bowl.

Then put in a buttered dish and bake. It smelled pretty good. I'm told it tasted pretty good too. So give it a whirl.






So then Thursday morning came and it was time to start cooking away I don't tend to fear cooking for people. In fact I love entertain people. I just kept prepping food until it was done. Then I had time to sit down and read a book. And goof off too.

I tried to take a picture of Gauge all ready for Thanksgiving but he wasn't having it. He wouldn't smile at the camera.

Then he stuck his tongue out at me to show me how he really felt about all of this and I tried not to take it personally.

My Table all set for guests. I got down my China that only gets used on special occasions. I think this falls under the catagory. So I decided to use it.

My turkey coming fresh out of the oven....I know you can't believe I can cook. It's okay. Sometimes I can't believe it either. (wink wink)

The whole sha' bang. Hey you can see the Sweet Potato Bake in this picture! You have to try it!

So anyways, that was my Thanksgiving. It was so good! And it was very much a lovely evening. Hope yours was too!

My Dinner was the bomb.

I just have to say that the Apple Sauce Sweet Potato Bake was a hit you must try it! I am not one to eat sweet potatoes or yams but this was to die for, I went back for seconds...which is probably why I feel like I am going to explode.

The treadmill of horror might be seeing me tomorrow. After I have my morning coffee of course. Boyfriend is currently out taking a walk with his dog. I think he feels like he is going to explode too. Hee hee. I'm a damn good cook.

Night all.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Good morning everyone!

Are you fasting in preparation for the big feast later? I know I am. I cannot wait to devour some of my delicious turkey and home made gravy. Last night I made the apple and pork sausage stuffing. What an event. I took pictures. And I will blog about it when I have feedback from the guests. I took a bite of it...but I'm not a sausage fan so I don't want to ruin it for everyone. It smelled good though.

Anyways I am just sitting here drinking some coffee and doing a mind prep before I spend the next six hours cooking. I still have to get down the China and set the table.So just sitting here relaxing & reading up on my blogs before I get in the kitchen to get er done!

Gauge would like to wish everyone a Happy Turkey day as well. He's is not currently sitting a pile of leaves looking stoic he is currently snoring in his bed in the dining room. But I'm sure I can speak for him.

We hope that if you're with family and friends or by yourself this year you take time to reflect on what you have to be thankful for and that you hold that to your heart.

Eat up everyone and make sure to have the Tums on the night stand before you go to bed! Just a helpful hint!

Adam Lambert: You've disgusted America and have done a great job at advertising yourself

To my surprise, I "get" this performer. I watched on U Tube his performance on Sunday and I admit, I was a little taken back at the provocativeness of it, the erotic moves as he performed "For Your Entertainment". However, I only went and watched him after I heard all the fuss about his performance on my morning radio show on my commute in.

The fuss hasn't stopped it's still going on. Parents are in an uproar. Media is canceling his appearances and he will not apologize for his actions.

And frankly I do not blame him.

I remember my mother telling me when I was young, "Don't believe everything you see on TV" or "Those are just performers, it's not 'real'". Not that I was watching triple x movies or anything but I did see 'Flash Dance' at age 6 and loved 'Cocktail' when it first came out.

As an actress and an artist myself I get what his performance was about. His conflict between becoming the character in his song and giving the audience a good show. It consumes you. Being in front of an audience kicks your adrenaline into overdrive, you become the character you strive to be and you see no one in those seats. It's you and you only on that stage.

Am I making excuses for him, no. I'm just saying that if ABC didn't want a flamboyant artist on stage then they should have gone with the American Idol Winner. Not the Runner Up. I have to say that with all the coverage they have given him about his performance they have given him a lot of free PR since he has a new album dropping. And since his song made some sense to me...I'm not saying that I will run out and buy it however, I might actually not turn the radio off if I happen to hear it.

So keep on singing Adam. I think you were great. Remember when Ozzy bit the head off that bat? This too will pass.

A Winter Must Have: Cause I'm cheap & lazy

I took the plunge.

I signed up for Netflix. I can't hide in my room reading books all winter. Although I probably will do some of that too. But nothing is on the boob tube lately...and that is rather disappointing. So for $8.99 a month I get unlimited DVD's.

My first DVD to arrive will be The Proposal with Mr. Yummy Ryan Reynolds...purrrrrrrrrrrr meowwwwww. I just checked my account, it should be there tomorrow! OMG! YES!

I love instant results. And technology.

Whose got the popcorn?? I'll supply the butter & salt.

Hello Captain Jack--- you sexy beast!!

Thank goodness People Magazine is on top of things. It's about damn time! The other guys are worth looking at. However there is only one Captain Jack Sparrow and right now...I just want to bring him some rum...on a platter...myself....and make sure he enjoy's his status. Cheers!

Skipping Motherhood going straight to Grandma

My boyfriend is going to be a grandpa. He has a son from his first marriage and they lost touch when he was young. Three years ago he made contact with his son and they have been speaking to each other since. It warms my heart. I would like to see them closer, but things like this take time.

Boyfriend called me up tonight to inform me that he received an email from his son stating that he might be a grandpa. I laughed and laughed and laughed again and again. Cause why? Because I just knew this would happen to the son. Actually boyfriend did too. We totally saw this coming from his relationship. This might be a good thing though for everyone actually. A blessing in disguise.

So at 30 I'm going to be a possible kind of like grandma. And you know what? I'm going to be a kick ass grandma. Huh? Who would of thought? It could be time for some serious spoiling...I hope they have a girl!

Sunday is the day of rest...

I told boyfriend I couldn't go shopping with him to go in search for a new watch with him today, nor could I go do lunch or whatever it was he had in mind because, "I had so much to do".
However as soon as he was gone and out the door the rain pounded hard out side and it just felt like a good time to just take a moment and read for a bit.

So I took out a new book and read.

And read.

And read.

And read.

Until I read the entire book from start to finish and it was a little after six pm. I managed to read the entire day away!

Well I didn't get much done today. The floors remain unswept, the edges remain undusted and so on and so on. I did get up and start the dishwasher...that counts right?

Guess I just needed an uber lazy day...however I feel kind of guilty about it considering that's all I've been doing since my surgery is "resting". I'm waiting for all my energy to return. Where it went-I have no idea.

Anyways we did manage to get all of our Thanksgiving food stuff purchased yesterday. Oh and on the request of boyfriend at the last minute I'm no making an additional kind of stuffing...apple and sausage. So if it turns out any good I'll post the receipe. If not I won't subject you to that kind of torture.

Well my muse is knocking on my brain so I'm going to get back to writing on the "book". Later gators.

Planning the Turkey Dinner

One of my favorite cook books I own is this one, given to me by my mother in out law. I have gotten so much use out of it! The pages that have gotten the most use is pages 64-65. On how to bake a turkey. I have turned out some of the most mouth watering, tendering talk of the town turkies from those pages.

Well I decided that I wanted to add a new addition to the menu this year. So I am going to try and make Sweet Potatoes. So I turned to this book and good old Betty didn't disappoint. On page 116 there is a receipe for Applesauce-Sweet Potato Bake that sounds very mouth watering and I might actually try it.

In case you can't get your hands on the book. I'll share it with you.

1 pound of sweet potatoes or yams (about 3 medium)
1 cup applesauce
1/3 packed brown sugar
1/4 cup chopped nuts (the picture shows walnuts)
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 tablespoons butter

Place sweet potatoes in 3 quart saucepan; add enough water (salted if desired) to cover. Heat to boiling; reduce heat. Cover and simmer 30-35 minutes or until tender; drain. Remove skins; cut each sweet potato length wise in half.

Heat oven to 375 degrees. Place sweet potatoes, cut sides up, in ungreased 2-quart casserole or square baking dish 8x8x2 inches. Spread applesauce over sweet potatoes. Mix brown sugar, nuts and cinnamon; sprinkle over applesauce. Dot with butter cover and bake about 30 mintues or until hot. Then you have the option of sprinkling dried cranberries over the top when finished. I think that's what I'll do...cause it looks pretty.

If you happen to try this let me know okay?

New Moon!

I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Twilight Freak. I've read all the books and have seen the first movie- a lot. I have been counting down the months, days, hours and minutes until the second movie, New Moon was coming out!
Now I didn't do the midnight show, cause I just can't roll that hard core & still go to work the next day. But I did go at 5:30 Friday night after work with my two friends that are just as obsessed as me.

Here we are waiting in line. Because they got there early to hold a spot, we were only like fourth in line. They rock. We went to a theater that is only for 21 year olds and over. They serve you alcohol and food.

You have your own waiter. It is a fun experience. The prices are not bad either. We had a really good time.

Ugg'ing it Up

Apparently there was a Memo??

So not to spoil the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it...but you must go see it! I really don't think you'll be disappointed. I sure wasn't I cannot wait for Eclispe to come out in June. Oh such a long wait...

My camera software is being a total jerk tonight. Un-cooperative. don't you know who I am? Work damn it!

So the post with the pictures will have to wait until perhaps tomorrow when I don't want to huck the computer across the room. (That might be the theme today...flying pumpkins and computers)

So the honest bitch landed. I decided to tell someone something that someone else had said about them that was directed at me. But I knew that person was lying to cover their tracks. And why they felt they needed to bring that person into their web of lies is beyond me. So I said you know what, I'm just going to tell her. Cause she should know just how fucked up that person really is. Granted said person wasn't happy. But you know what- I'm just sick and fracking tired of LIARS. I'm tired of people lying to my face. And if you haven't figured it out by now...I'll call you out on your bullshit. So I've rid my hands of the deceit and I won't lose sleep over it.

Oh and I didn't huck the pumpkin either. I just took a deep breath and went for a little walk down the office hall. I felt better when I got back. Sometimes I really miss having an office, with a door. So I could just shut out the world and the noise. But I guess I should just STFU myself and just be thankful I still have a job...(knock on wood)

Alright going to bed...getting up early in the morning to do some chores and then meet a friend for coffee....yes at Starbucks! What can I say? I'm a coffee snob.

Just Shut UP!

Some people do not know when to STFU.

Do you know anyone that just talks all day long and it sounds like nails on a chalkboard?

Do you know anyone that knows everything...thinks that they are so smart...but you have to ask yourself...then why are you working here? "Why didn't you become a doctor or some shit?"

I need to finish reading the A New Earth book like Jomamma had suggested. Because she said it talks about ego's. I think this person must have a serious ego and I might add no life whats so ever.

I shouldn't let this person get under my skin. But right now...hucking my miniature pumpkin at their head so looks inviting right now.

Beware: The Honest Bitch has Landed.

Consider yourselves warned.

Ghost Stories

Not everyone believes in ghosts. To each their own I say. But those people probably didn't live in a haunted apartment for three years either.

Tonight I came home with my delicious Teriyaki take out and settled in as the wind gusted out side and the rain came down in sheets and I sank into the sofa to watch one of my favorite shows; Ghost Hunters. I became intrigued with this show after having my own experiences with the paranormal. So here you go folks...your own ghost stories tonight...don't judge...it didn't happen to you:

I'm going to take you all the way back to circa 1998 when I was newly wed and my husband and I needed a new place to live. We found this cute little one bedroom one bath that was in four plex building that was over a one car garage that over looked Lake Stevens. Had a great view. And for me was perfect because it had a dishwasher! It was very small the end unit, and the only source of light was the eight foot sliding glass door out onto the deck and our bedroom window. Which was kind of depressing in the winter months.

Anyways my husband and I lived there for over a year before we really started to "notice anything" worth talking about. What came up was that he would be down in the garage and would swear that he would hear foot steps going up the stairs to the front door and think that I would be home. He would go outside but my car would not be in my space nor would anyone be on our landing. I would just chalk it up to him being a retard. Then I started getting these weird feelings that I was being "watched" when I was in the shower. I would pull back the shower curtain but no one would be there. I chalked that up to me being claustrophobic.

More time went by.

One night I went bed by myself as my husband sat out on the couch watching TV. I had just turned off the light. It was dark in our room but not pitch black dark. I was looking at the ceiling because something had caught my eye. It looked like the air was moving. Like it was getting thicker. Darker. Swirling. This thing started to get closer to me and I felt like I was to scared to move in my bed as I watched it come closer to me and begin to take shape next to my face. It got less than two feet from me as what it appeared to me like the black mass was pushing itself to form a human face through the air. All of a sudden I had enough panic to scream and turn on the light. Of course nothing was there. When I told my husband, he said for me just to calm down and to just sleep with the light on. So I did. I really don't think he believed me. I really began to doubt if I really had seen what I saw too. But knowing what I know now, I truly saw a shadow figure.

A few more months pass and my husband thought it would be a good idea to play with a Ouija Board. Imagine our shock when we barely touched the thing and the dial went moving across the board. We both confirmed that it felt like electricity moved through our hands. You could feel the hair standing up on you. We think we talked to the dead the night.

And then the night that changed both our lives.


I was already asleep. I remember him coming to bed and climbing in. But what woke me up was HIS scream. I turned on the light to see my husband, (who prided himself as a 'tough guy') out of bed against the farthest wall, white as a sheet and looking terrified. I said, "What?!?"

Him: Did you see that?

Me: No I was asleep!

Him: There was just a flash of sliver light that just shot out of the bathroom Heather!

Me: Are you sure?

Him: I swear.

I'm thinking that he is crazy so I volunteer to get out of bed to check. But I find it odd that he looks so terrified. I creep out of bed and stand at the door. He comes around the bed, behind me.
I listen. I can hear something....so I step out into the hall which takes me to the entrance to the kitchen. What I hear sounds like whispering...pspspspspspspspspspspsps I turn slowly and look at the husband who looks so scared.

Me: Do you hear that?

Him: (gulp) Yesssss

Me: It sounds like it's coming from the kitchen.

Him: uh huh (he looks like he's about to pass out)

Me: (Speaks loudly) Okay spirits you've done what you intended to do. You've scared us, but you are NOT welcome here. This is OUR home. Leave now!

Spirits: GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE

I turn around and run back to the bedroom as husband is closing the door in my face, I shove it open and then slam it shut! Lock it! Then we both dive UNDER THE COVERS!

Me: DID YOU HEAR THAT!!!

Him: FUCK YEA

Me: I cannot believe that. It sounded just like little kids

Him: We're haunted.

Me: I'm scared

Him: Me too.

Him and I stayed huddled under those covers all night long with the lights on. When we got up in the morning we started talking about all the other strange things we had been feeling about our apartment. Apparently when he would sit and watch TV at night he would feel like he was being watched from the hallway or he would see something move out of the corner of his eye. I always felt the same way from my kitchen and he experienced the same thing that I was when he would take a shower too. He shared with me about him being in the garage and hearing the walking up the stairs or thinking I was home in the apartment. So we started asking our landlord and the neighbors had anybody died there...everyone said "no".

We left that apartment shortly after that happened. But it peeked my husbands interest. We moved back into my father's house, that my mother passed away in. It seemed every once in awhile my husband would slip down the stairs when we would have a fight. He swore my mother was pushing him down the stairs. I insisted she had much better things to do then sit around and watch us. But then again she must have knew something I didn't. So maybe she was pushing him down the stairs.

My last ghost story happened in this house but it was very brief. So after the success of Ghost Hunters on TV and our experiences my husband wanted to get into hunting ghosts. I told him he shouldn't mess around with stuff like that. But he didn't listen. So he went off to this friends house that they insisted they had a ghost in there in their attic. So for three nights they pestered this ghost.
It was a very warm summer day and I'm vacuuming away. I just finished doing my couch, which I have the kind of material that if you touch it or put a print on it you know. Ladies you know what I'm talking about, so I just vacuumed it so all the material is going one direction. And its warm in the house and I go to vacuum down one hall when I hit a very icy cold spot in the air. I freeze immediately. I look all around me I feel around me. Just.that. spot. is. cold. I think to myself this cannot be happening. Not at my home. I turn around and on my couch that I just vacuumed is a hand print. One hand print. I walk up to it. It is a large hand print. I put my hand over it. My hand is to small for it.
Damn it if that ghost didn't come home with my husband!

Me: Okay, listen this is not your house. You are NOT welcome here. The only ghost that is welcome here is my mother. NOBODY ELSE. So GET OUT NOW!! Go back to where you came from. The cold spot disappeared, the uneasiness disappeared and I have had no further issues.

So am I believer in ghosts? You betcha. After that? How could I not!?

Gauge and I went on a Fall Walk after the storm

I don't always grab the camera when I go for walks but today I did and I'm happy that I did because I got some good pictures of some fall colors and of course Gauge.

I could not get over how large that leaf was compared to my feet.

This is an empty lot for sale right across the street from me. Today it looked like a picture out of a fairy tale.

Gauge was good, he posed in some leaves and humored me for about 20 pictures.

This is the view over the bluff across the road from me. It's nothing but farm land. I'm just a tad bit aways from Seattle really.

I could not get over the gold color on the leaves of this tree. So pretty!

Yours truly, all bundled up and no make up. Please note my hat says, "Life is Good" Yes it is indeed.

Gauge would like to know what you all are looking at?

Oh you shouldn't have: (I'm blushing)

The voices in my head have gotten me noticed! Yes!!!!! I'm this (____) close to WORLD DOMINATION!

Oh wait? You just wanted to give me a cutesy award? Okay...I'll take that too. Thank you Cathy at http://cathyhasantsypants.blogspot.com/ I adore it! (Please check out Cathy I think she's rather nifty)

I don't know what the rules are either. Does someone write the rules? I mean is there a blog on blogger award rules? Does someone blog about "blogging the blog rules"?

So am I supposed to give this back to someone? I mean what if I want to revert back to my "Only Child" syndrome and keep it all to myself?

What will happen to me? Will the Blog Gods strike down upon me from the sky? Will lightening bolts shoot out of my keyboard and shock me?

Well considering my luck lately...lets not tempt fate shall we?

So I'm passing the little bugger along...

I'm giving this award back to...none other to: drum roll please......HEY I SAID DRUM ROLL PLEASE DAMN IT!

WTF? WHERE IS EVERYBODY TONIGHT?

Okay fine. No drum roll.

I'm giving this award to: LIVE FROM THE BACK YARD
http://jomammatexs.blogspot.com/

If you have never stopped by and listened to JomammaYOU NEED TO: She is an honest Texas Mom and she tells it straight up from the heart. She is such a sweet heart. Her blog is about her everyday life and when she pops by on your blog she can give the BEST advice. So here's to you Jomamma! Tonight I celebrate YOU!

Dreaming of Turkey

The wind is blowing hard outside; glad I stayed home. I'm counting down the minutes until the doctors office opens. Until then I'm planning Thanksgiving dinner in my head.

The last three years we have done Thanksgiving on the boat. Sailed up to the San Juan Islands; but this year we are staying home. Which will be nice for me because then I can just cook everything the same day in my kitchen and then serve it up once it is done. Not cook it all the night before, then package it up in smaller containers and take it down to the boat and hope I don't slip and fall, and dump everything on the ground...like one year. (Everything survived, except my gravy...let's not talk about it)

Yum, turkey does sound so good...

Actually anything sounds good. My lunch was pretty big yesterday that I wasn't hungry for dinner. So I didn't eat one. But then I got an hankering for some ice cream. So I loaded up the fur kids and we took a little trip to the gas station on a mission for some Cookie Dough ice cream and some milk. Once the mission was complete we settled back in. I polished off that whole little container of ice cream! All five million calories of it. I decided it was okay because I didn't eat dinner and I'm sick so I deserved it.

Anyways I'm just rambling...

So I am going to make the turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, gravy of course, green bean casserole, pumpkin pie, deviled eggs, and if anyone wants those nasty things called yams they better bring them. My grandma usually makes rolls every year and she gives me a batch...I better ask her if I can get some. Oh and of course I have pickles! for my relish dish. So it will be quite the spread. Then there are always left overs for sandwiches...yummy.

I can smell it now...drool....

So my fellow bloggers, What is on YOUR menu for Thanksgiving?

And the Gold Medal in Olympic Scratching goes to....(insert climatic anticipation here)....Seattle Heather!!!!

Now I know that I am the type of person that wants instant results. Especially when my body is being TAKEN OVER by some unknown, uninvited dweller.

I am one bitter, pissed off, annoyed and highly agitated and do not forget--ITCHY---woman right now.

Okay so here's the deal. I'm not going to work tomorrow. NOPE. Already decided that this morning at 3 am when I woke up and felt pretty much worse then Friday when I was at the doctors. So tomorrow I am not going in, tomorrow I will be hopefully be able to go see my regular doctor. I will cry and beg if I have to. I am THAT desperate for some relief. And not to mention....I'm contiguous. La ti da. So I have to keep everything clean, always use a fresh towel after I use it, wipe down every thing, wash the sheets constantly, and wash my hands any time they travel near my infected sights. What a pain. Then my relatives are checking in on me, and telling me their staph infection horror stories, and then ending them with...."but I don't want to scare you." Seriously? I am scared! I don't know what this is! And it's not getting better! It came out of no where!

Apparently everything happens for a reason. For example, like me not going to Mexico this year. I needed my vacation time because I used it for my surgery and now I'm going to use it because I'm staying home due to contiguous staph infection. GO ME!

I should give my staph infection a name so it doesn't sound so gross. Like 'Dimitri' and it can have an accent. So then when people ask how I'm doing, I can just say "Oh I've been better Dimitri is being a real pain in my ass." or "Dimitri doesn't know when to leave. He's like fish after three days he starts to stink" Then people will probably think I'm cheating on Boyfriend but boyfriend knows I'm crazy and he'll probably just say "yeah Dimitri has really got her down and is putting a damper on things." And then those SAME people will probably think we're having some strange lover's triangle.

Hmmm maybe giving my staph infection a name isn't such a good idea?

Anyways boyfriend and I did compromise today. He really wanted to watch...football, (hiss) and I really wanted to just eat. So we went to this Sports Bar Restaurant called Boston's. He had never been there. I knew about the 8 flat screen TV's before we showed up, he did not. So he was totally surprised and now he likes it there. He said we could go back on Sunday's! I had to laugh, freaking Football. If this is how you get him to take me out to lunch on Sunday...then by all means, next time I will bring a book.

So after getting home and washing the sheets and anything else I might have rubbed against I have now settled down to relax for the night. I am watching boyfriend's dog this week so Gauge has company. So I have two dogs snoring at the foot of my bed.

Well time to sign off. Night all!

A whole lot of words and no title

Last night was a little get together thrown by the mother of the bride whose wedding I was in-you know in August. She threw a fondue party! It was a three course meal...first the cheese, then the meat, then last but not least the chocolate! It was so much fun-who doesn't LOVE fondue?

So today is freaking BRRRR COLD yo! It is so cold that my furnace cannot keep the house at the desired temp on the thermostat. So I'm going to have to research what could be wrong and trouble shoot the problem. Whatever the deal is, I know that it is going to involve me going under the house, (because that's where the damn furnace is located) and I'll probably have a run in with a giant spider packing a six shooter.

Anyways, I have some "issues" going on body wise. Somehow and I might know how, I picked up a nice little case of Staph infection. I've got a rash going on. It's on both my hips and around my belly button. And I itch like it's a new Olympic Sport. I went to the doctor yesterday-couldn't see my doctor, had to see the doctor wanna-be, aka the Nurse Practitioner, and he gave me some antibiotics. But I question his abilities. So if I'm still miserable on Monday I'll be calling my regular doctor and demand that I be seen by him. Yes DEMAND. And I will get my way. HA HA.

So how did I get this? Well....I'm just speculating, but I really didn't want some nasty scars-but remember when I said I didn't want those so I was putting Neosporan on them? Would you like to bet that there was some kind of bacteria on that tube of Neosporan that I transferred onto myself? Cause that's the only thing I can think of. So needless to say, I feel like total C.R.A.P.

Yesterday was so slow at work so I went back and started helping out in shipping by building boxes. My boss came back and asked me what I was doing, I said, "I had to do something with my hands to keep them busy or I was going to scratch!" She laughed but I was serious...I wasn't trying to be funny! I'm like a dog with flees! Now I know how Gauge feels.

Sigh.

I am happy that it is the weekend though. I will climb out of my warm bed shortly and try to get some things done around the house. Sometimes I wish I had magic powers and could just twitch my nose and everything would just be done! Or be like Mary Poppins and sing a song and things would just randomly go where I sung them to. But life isn't all Disney. Have a nice Saturday where ever you happen to be reading me from....

I Got Blog Love from Trey!

It's always nice to get love no matter whom it comes from. Today I got some Blog love from

Trey @ http://asktrey.blogspot.com/

If you haven't visited his site yet, I suggest you do. It is a nice refreshing read about dating, love, and life from a man's point of view. (Feel free to smack him once in awhile too, I think he kind of likes it)

So I guess I have to give out some awards now myself. I have never done this before so forgive if I break some kind of rule or something. So I'm picking my top three favorite reads:

http://catamaranmeerkat.blogspot.com/

Meerkat Heather has awesome journey's

http://againstallcods.blogspot.com/

Maria is my Favorite Brit and she'll probably hate me for giving her some sort of an award but she's in Utah so maybe she'll never notice!

http://booshy.wordpress.com/

Booshy it was a toss up between you and the Bloggess...but I think I have more in common with you so I'm hanging my hat in your corner.

Okay ladies so here are the rules, which if Maria pops by I know she'll break them. So anyway. Here you go!

Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.

Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog.

Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

Been away with writers block caused by lack of nookie

If boyfriend secretly reads me, he probably has his head in his hands this very moment. Wondering how I can be so blunt.

Really? I've only been drooling about um....errr Steak...yeah that's it....Steak...for the past two days.

When you have a surgery like I did...you have to go on uber Va-jay-jay rest. And let me tell you I am about to GO OUT OF MY MIND!

So it's no wonder that this weekend marks the date the chastity belt can come off- and with out thinking I completely booked my schedule....I'm a cruel girlfriend.... I have stuff planned all weekend. And boyfriend is not a happy camper. He's so unhappy about it that he wanted me to cancel one of my plans. And I refused. This is how the conversation went:

B: Well I'm coming over to do laundry

Me: I won't be there.

B: I think you should cancel your plans.

Me: I think you should enjoy your time doing laundry.

B: Oh I will. I'm going to give the dryer more attention than you then.

Me: (Laughing) Fine! I hope you enjoy your time with dryer because that's all the action you're getting this weekend!

B: OH YEAH I WILL.

Me: Tip, if you fill the washing machine unbalanced you might be able to get it to shake too.

B: Thanks for the tip.

Me: Just clean up after you're done molesting my appliances.

B: (Silence)---(No come back)

Me: (Laughs hard--declares victory)

I get what his frustration is all about. However, he can make compromises to his schedule to and he is not. He expects me to cancel my plans? Nope. Sorry, you're involved in my life buddy, cause I allow it. Love you and all but you can wait and so can I...in the mean time I'll just dream about steak and beef and what's for dinner and blah di blah...

Matthew McConaughey...Beef It's Whats For Dinner: Trust Me Ladies...You're gonna want to watch this! You'll thank me.

Is it Friday yet? Oh Damn it's only Monday.

Yaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwn.

Today was a long Monday. I had this big plan after work to make this healthy chicken salad and take pictures and blog about how I was going to eat this healthy chicken salad and loose weight and blah di blah blah. However the universe had other plans for me.

Traffic was a nightmare. Each exit that I tried to get off at to go to the store was backed up to where I finally said forget it and succumbed to the fact I would just go to the local grocery store in my town. (Which happens to be one of the most over priced stores) I was just to my exit when up ahead of me the sky was light and I focus on the area to see a big cloud of smoke and what looks like flames shooting in the air! Of course I wasn't the only motorist to see this and we all start to hit the brakes. As we approach my exit I see that a semi truck and trailer is completely engulfed in flames and sort of pulled off the exit. 'Wow crazy, guess I'm not getting off the freeway here.' I thought. Just then a van moves from the far left lane over to my lane (far right) and then goes to park on the shoulder. He nearly collided with me. I could not believe all the people that were stopping and getting out of their cars to watch it burn. That just did not seem very safe to me. I mean, I love you guys but for the sake of this blog...I wasn't about to singe my eyelashes off for a picture. I just kept going.
When I finally did make it to the store it was after six o'clock. Now I should know better than to go to the store on an empty stomach. Cause everything looks so good!
I filled my little basket up fast but was disappointed when they didn't have the chicken I was looking for so I opted for some imitation lobster instead.
Arrival time at home was 6:45 and guess who was waiting for me at the door with his nose glued to it? Yup Sir Gauge.
It smells like stinky burned semi truck out side. But not as bad as when the chicken farm burned down. Cause that was some stinky shit...um literally.
So my salad was good and of course I inhaled it like the fucking Hoover Vacuum cleaner. And I'm doing my best to try and not think about anything else food wise.
Eleven pounds people. I have eleven pounds to get back where I was from Aug. 2nd. When I was wearing that cute little red dress at the wedding. Then after that I have 5 more. So all and all 16 pounds total. I'm so trying not to be depressed over it. Food is my weakness. But I have to let it not rule my life...again.
Okay so did I get on the treadmill of horror tonight? Okay...I'm not going to lie. No I did not. I'm exhausted. But! When I was doing my errands tonight I did park far away in the parking lot and did a lot of walking. So that helps for something right? Good gravy I'm just yammering on and on...shoot me. (OMG gravy...with mashed potatoes with turkey and stuffing!) SEE?! I'm so screwed!
Tomorrow is a new day. For now I'm just gonna snuggle in bed and read a book and try not to think about any of my stresses. Yeah...that sounds pretty good to me!

Can't get this song out of my head!

Trying to get back into the swing of things

Hats off to the ladies that suggested the GasX because that stuff really helped!

So today I decided to go get back on the treadmill of horror..............

I was disappointed to find out that I just couldn't get on it and get right back into my old work out routine. I am having to start at the bottom and work my way up again. Oh well...it's a start.

I'm also hoping that exercising will help give me the energy that I have been lacking for the past week. I'm so tired. All I want to do is sleep!

Gauge even got on the treadmill and walked on it for a minute! He never stays on it long enough for me to get a good picture.

Just need to take it one step at a time and realize that I'm not Super Woman, and getting to where I want to be isn't going to happen over night.

Over here over there I was everywhere...

Today was not a usual Saturday... today was all about....ME!

Now when I say that, I don't say it to sound self centered or selfish. But sometimes one just gets so involved with their lives and doing for others that they do not take the down time for themselves to give something back to themselves. Healthy "me" time. Do I make any sense here?

It started off with sleeping in...then a nice cup of coffee...and nice long shower...a trip to the chiropractor...and the best part of the day was meeting up with two friends that I hadn't seen in awhile! We met for lunch and talked and laughed. Then it was off to Starbucks to warm up with some coffee and talk and laugh some more! One friend had to leave and I was sorry to see her go. But as she put it her momma duties called. My other friend and I decided to continue our adventure for the day. When we to had to say our good bye's I wasn't ready to go home...I was still in the mood to do something for me.

Since I was over by the mall...yea why not?

The logical part of me says that I should have NOT done what I ended up doing. But the more laid back version of me is like you deserve this you never splurge on new clothes. Yup...I hit up the Nordstroms half yearly sale. I got four items. Two shirts, one sweater and one beautiful red cord jacket. Sometimes you just know when something is meant to be yours...its true! Confessions of a recovering shopaholic.

Also by this day being totally mine...I told boyfriend that I wanted him to stay home tonight. He wasn't feeling good anyways and I wanted to sleep in again tomorrow! I just wanted my weekend to myself. And I'm so enjoying it. When I got home I took Gauge for walk (hung up new clothes, had slight buyers remorse) and then we watched a pretty lame movie and now here I am...in bed and can hardly keep my eyes open.

A thought just occurred to me...can you believe that this year is almost over?! I can't! I can't believe that I've been blogging for eleven months...wow. Well, I intended to only Blog for one year. But I kind of like you guys...so I think I'll stick around. You're kind of therapeutic for me.

Now, where was I? Oh yeah sleepy can't keep eyes open. Guess that means it's time for bed. So good night all. Where ever you are.....

One can only hope this is a cure all after surgery....

I know that I'm not number 1

I'm maybe number two or number three. It's a fucked up kind of deal if it's not you....but it's really all I can handle right now. I'm not looking to get married again-or play house. I've been rebuilding my life and my Independence for a couple of years.
He has been rebuilding his life as well. We've been there for each other. We do love each other but we both have goals. We both have the same goals. And then some of our goals tend to go opposite directions.
We have a big age gap. Boyfriend is 19.5 years older. But you really wouldn't know it if you saw him. He looks 35 maybe 40. But to me age is just a number...
He can be sweet and caring...and then can be short and to the point and rough around the edges. I can be soft and loving and then stubborn and stern.
I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with him; however there are things that he would have to do differently that would make that happen. And of course that would be to make me be number one in his life. And in turn...I would have to make him number one in my life.
But it's a catch 22.
It's almost like we both feel we have things that we have to do...we are both not willing to commit 100% of ourselves to the relationship. I guess when you know that...it can make things easier.
Relationships are never easy- they always require work. Communication. Love.

What will our future hold? Only time will tell...but I'm not rushing it. Just living my life and including him in it.

Time goes by and people change...

This is me and my girls on New Years Eve 2005
(I was just coming to terms with a few things about my marriage about then)



Myself and my girls September 2008

And of course the bride and I August 2009.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is...you go through life and have ups and downs...I look back at pictures of myself and analyze the way I look, how I might have been feeling at that time and what was going on. Now, I can say...I'm so much more happy in my life then ever before!